How to Make Living Amends: 5 Top Tips

But the rewards you’ll reap from living amends can help make the challenges easier and more productive. Taking these actions helps us to separate ourselves from the disease of addiction. We come to understand that we are good people with a bad disease.

This is a fact of life and relationship, so the question is not will this happen. When I first came to recovery, I was certain steps 8 and 9 would be a breeze. After all, https://ecosoberhouse.com/ I hadn’t hurt anyone (Step 8), so I didn’t need to make any amends (Step 9). In fact, every day I make a living amends to my husband, son, Mom, and brother Ricky.

Addiction and Mental Health Resources

It makes it hard to remember things that happened before or after. We blame ourselves for certain things that happened — sometimes rightfully, and sometimes not. An example would be telling someone how sorry you are that you stole from them and actually giving back what you took. This part is perhaps the most daunting, but it is also the most important. Let the other person explain how they feel, how they were affected, and what they need to move forward. He is a member of over a dozen professional medical associations and in his free time enjoys a number of different activities.

• The other person may hear the same statement as exasperation with them or a minimizing of the ways you’ve hurt them.
• Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say when preparing to make amends.
• When he handles a situation at work “the wrong way” I keep my opinion to myself.
• For instance, our sexual conduct may convince us that certain former paramours deserve attention while working Step Nine.
• John’s key responsibilities include maintaining the day-to-day operations from both a clinical and housing perspective.

With all those articles (that you should go back and check out if you haven’t read them), it would be easy to assume we have said all there is to say. But if you are dealing with guilt and grief, you probably aren’t surprised that there is more to say. Somehow in all this guilt writing, we have never talked about making amends with someone who died. Apologizing in this way may open the door to continued healing, growth, and restored relationships in recovery. Cake offers its users do-it-yourself online forms to complete their own wills and generalized educational content about wills. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal advice.

Broken and Bleeding: Emotional Trauma and Substance Use Disorder

It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different. Making these types of life improvements typically requires that you work with a counselor or therapist who can provide an outsider’s perspective living amends and objective view of your life. Making these types of life changes is difficult and requires lots of hard, emotionally-complex work, but it’s worth all the effort in the end. It’s important to note that making amends is for the person we hurt.